Monday, May 6, 2013

A perspective changed

I have a little To-Do list on my phone of the things I had planned to do during Talmage's nap.
Instead, I want to write a little something on the blog... so here I am, and that's what I'm doing.

From the instant I woke up, I knew it was going to be a bad day.  (I went to bed in a bad mood, so I'm sure it carried over to morning). 
When I got Talmage out of bed, I came in to see tissues all in his bed and on the floor. 

(I had started to clean them up, but realized I should take a picture of this.  He looks so proud, haha!)


Then Danica came in and started jumping on the extra bed in his room (she knows this is a big no-no).  In the process she knocked over and emptied the bags of Talmage's small clothes I had just set aside to be packed away.
I totally felt like if something bad could happen, it did today.  Things were spilled, toys got stepped on, kids threw tantrums.  It was rough and I was starting to go crazy.

It was only 11:00 am and I sent Tyler a text complaining about what happened in the morning.  He told me he was having a hard day at work too. 

This must be the reason Garfield hates Mondays.

Just yesterday, I was talking to Tyler about how I feel like we've been really blessed lately and that I wondered when/what it might be that ends our streak... so to speak.  (Kind of pessimistic, I guess, but I didn't mean it negatively)

So today I sent him a text saying it was funny that I was just talking about how good it's been for us and then the next day we both have bad days.  (Not that I was considering these things, this little in magnitude, being something to consider the interruption to our blessings... just interesting) 
Being melodramatic and in the moment, I said (texted):
"I feel like Satan, to our conversation, was like... Oh, not enough bad in your life? I can help with that! ...Maybe that's dramatic, but that's sort of what it's felt like so far."

A half hour later, I was complaining in my mind, because the day hadn't gotten much better.  (And I should know better than to have the kids help me make muffins when I'm already in an impatient mood) and I started thinking, What is my problem?  I had just talked to someone about how you choose to be offended... how is choosing to be upset or in a bad mood any different?

After the muffins were in the oven, to Tyler came another text:
"You know what I was just thinking... Satan isn't the one that hands out the trials. Heavenly Father is. And we know it's not because he wants us to suffer, but, rather, grow.  And he won't give me anything I can't handle so it's all about how I handle my situation. It's actually Satan who makes me feel like this is a worse trial than it could be; that's his part. So I should not complain so much, but see how I can get through this bad day. (Sometimes the complaints helps me get better perspective though.)"

The more I thought about this, the more it rang in my ears.  Bad days (and trials) are going to happen.  There are going to be days when I'm on egde or in a bad mood.  But I need to remember that I am choosing to be in my bad moods.  Instead, I need to think of the things I can do to better my situation(s) and what I can learn from the little (and big) trials I face.  How I can grow... and maybe even help my kids to grow too.

This morning, I stepped back and got better a perspective on what was going around me.  I realized the kids weren't really being too bad.  They were "being kids" and moments were hard, but I was totally making the moments harder on all of us.  I lost my patience a couple times or was more stubborn than I needed to be.

The 2nd and final batch of muffins went in and everyone was happy!  The kids are always so easily happy again, but it took an ah-ha moment for me to snap out of my funk and I felt so silly that I had been stubbornly unhappy all morning; stuck in my bad mood... especially when the things going on today weren't really big deals at all.

I downloaded a free ebook today and read the first page and it was exactly what I needed to hear.  A woman told a story and then read a scripture she had found (1 Peter 3:10 & 14) that says, "For he that will love life, and see good days.... happy are ye" It wasn't telling us to love life and have good days, but rather see good days.

I definitely recommend downloading the FREE ebook, "Best of Mothers".  Here's the info they supplied on their facebook page:
To get you ready for Mother's Day we are giving away this awesome eBook from LDS Living! It is full of amazing hand-selected content and stories! You can get the FREE eBook here http://delivr.com/2hbhb and then download the app here:
Apple Devices: http://delivr.com/2y6g8
Android Devices: http://delivr.com/26xq4
Web Reader: http://delivr.com/2se66


I found some other neat pictures on good ol' facebook today.  Just what I needed.

Update: Talmage got up from his nap and was still a little tired and started crying over a toy.  When Danica tried to cheer him up and it wasn't working (he was being stubborn), she said to him so quietly and sweetly, "Talmage, why don't to choose to be in a happy mood again?"  Haha, it was so cute. 
Glad the two of had a little chat today.  It's good to know some of our talks are getting through to her. :)